Dear Barf,

I’m having a problem with a couple of my best friends. Thing is I’m still in highschool, my town sucks, I want a new life and such. Lately I’ve been losing alot of friends we just get into arguments then we don’t talk to each other anymore. And the friends I’m still pretty much friends with we don’t have as much fun as we used to. If we hang out I usually have more fun talking to their boyfriends than them. I feel totally guilty about it, but what should I do to make the situation better? I know everyone in highschool doesn’t stay friends forever out of highschool but I’m just a junior and if I lose these friends I won’t feel like making new ones. Plus I really do love my best friends!! Things have been awkward lately. What do you think I should do? Stop being friends with everyone or just grin and bare it til next year graduation? I’m a big fan of yours so your opinion really matters to me. :o)

Muchh Love,

Ana

Dear Ana,

The bad news is I know just how you feel and guess what? This shit doesn’t end after high school. For the rest of your life you will go through a period of hating your friends and feeling like they hate you, back and forth forever and ever, just like pooping in someones butt hole. It’s just normal relationship stuff. We get moody, and the closer we become with people, the more nit-picky we get. The good news is that by this time next week, you will feel totally different. Don’t make any grand decisions like “I hereby declare our friendship over!” That’s dumb. None of this shit is written in stone, it’s all fleeting and intangible, relationships ebb and flow and run their own course. If you need to take a time out, then do it. Focus on yourself in a positive way rather than let other people determine how you feel about yourself. Get obsessed with some new shit; learn Tarot, get a tattoo, get into a weird band, start a clip art collection, hang out with your family, consider taking up smoking… these are just a few things we do to preoccupy ourselves while we have to feel our feelings rather than act out on them. I’m in the same boat dude. It made me go to the gym and research Homeopathy just for shits n gigs. Another amazing activity is helping other people. Do the dishes for your mom, visit or call your grandma, when you go to the cafeteria and see a nerd sitting alone, go sit with her. This is the ballsier thing to do but it works so good. Most people are preoccupied with themselves 99% of the time, so I doubt your friends are giving that much of a shit about you and who cares cuz you’ll never know. Try controlling what you can: your actions. And make them good. The rest will unfold as it’s supposed to, and it will be great. You’ll see. And PS obviously your friends are gonna be pissed at you, you’re hanging out with their boyfriends! Why are you doing that? Ask yourself honestly if you have a hidden vagenda.

xx

Arfin